Hypocrite - According to Merriam-Webster Online … “a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings”. Uh, that would be me, I guess. Full disclosure? I definitely DID NOT want to do it, but I think I had little choice!

A few weeks back, I went on record with a frustrated rant that, in the end, threw “Pitch or Ditch” under the bus. Never again, I said. Well, roughly three short weeks later, with foot firmly implanted in mouth, I’ve enlisted, what seems like, the entire free agent list in a merciless assault on pitching sensibility.

If you read that piece, you’d know that my surprisingly competitive Mafia Mid-Season team had me lurking around the top of that league’s standings. In fact, for a couple of days, I even made it into 1st place. Well, my article must’ve jinxed Outlaws United BC because, since then, Keith Wire’s Existential Angst has blown past me like they were shot out of a cannon. Suddenly, I found myself about a dozen points back. Great job, Keith!

A study of the standings told me that I had little chance, in the short time we have left this season, to get back into the hunt if I continued chasing my favorite fantasy baseball strategies. In other words, I found myself completely swept away into desperation … and desperate times call for desperate measures. It was time for … gulp! … “Pitch or Ditch”.

Basically, the ‘carnage’ began on Thursday the 13th. Woody Williams, Kevin Millwood and Jason Hammel contributed to a 5.95 ERA, 1.53 WHIP, 15 K, 0 Win performance. Yikes.

The next day, Jamie Moyer, Doug Davis, Jose Contreras, Matt Chico and Jesse Litsch combined to lead the team to a 4.80 ERA, 1.53 WHIP with 22 Ks and 1 Win.

The third day of this horrible “Pitch or Ditch” blitz caused me to send Jon Garland, Jeff Suppan, Zack Greinke, Jay Bergmann and Ubaldo Jimenez out to ‘war’. The result? They came back slightly battered and bloodied but helped the team to a, very respectable, 3.38 ERA, albeit, with an ugly 1.70 WHIP. They logged 19 Ks with 2 Wins.

Thirteen ‘stiff’ pitching performances later, where am I? Well, Existential Angst is still in 1st place, but, somehow, I’ve managed to scratch my way back up to 3.5 points out. I’m certainly back in the race, but I can’t bring myself to give “Pitch or Ditch” full credit for this turn-a-round. Don’t get me wrong, “Pitch or Ditch” has played a big part, but I think my swing back into contention has also been helped, quite a bit, by an offense that has finally remembered how to hit the ball. That’s the way I want to look at it, at least.

What’s the moral of this story? For most of us, it’s “never say never”. For me, it’s “keep your big mouth shut or you’ll find yourself eating your words”!