SAN FRANCISCO (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Beleaguered San Francisco Giants ace Barry Zito has never struggled this much in any season in the big leagues. Off to a 0-6 start with an abysmal 7.53 ERA, Zito was recently sent to the bullpen prompting him to trade himself yesterday from his own fantasy baseball team. “I just had to make the move. I was getting my ass handed to me. I mean, 0-6 in April?” said the former Cy Young Award winner. “I called a few of my buddies, and I finally got one of them to bite in a trade, but I had to throw in David Wright. I’m telling you, fantasy guys are tougher than the real thing.” Fantasy baseball is played by millions of baseball fans worldwide and is a multimillion dollar business. Zito is one of several major leaguers to play in fantasy leagues, but considers himself a bit of a novice. “Yeah, so much of it is luck and knowing how to spend,” added Zito. “But even someone who just started playing can see moving me is the wise choice. I really bite the big one right now. Maybe I need a little time in the minors, riding in buses, staying in flea bag motels, and getting in bar fights to get my head straight.” Zito has been experiencing a bit of what fantasy experts call “lost identity.” “You see it with big leaguers who actually play in the fantasy leagues,” said fantasy guru Mike Kuchera. “They trade themselves, and they lose touch with who they are. Sadly, in some instances, their families are the real victims. Jim Edmonds traded himself three times last year and wound up paying alimony to four different women.” “Even if it’s a fantasy league, a veteran like Edmonds should know better,” said Marvin Michaels, an attorney who represented Anna Topper, a Florida-based exotic dancer to whom Edmonds was wed for three weeks before he traded himself to the California Angels and proposed to a nail technician from Anaheim. “The rules still apply: Just because you traded yourself to a new team in a new city doesn’t mean you get to trade your old wife for a new one. Wouldn’t that be convenient? What about guys like me who’ve been stuck with this bum since the season started? Unlike Edmonds I can’t blink my eyes three times and wind up with a new team and a new wife. Look, we all have fantasies — mine is to play centerfield for the St. Louis Cardinals alongside Jenna Jameson in right on a field covered in high thread count satin sheets. But unlike Edmonds I know not to take liberties with my fantasies — because you will pay a price. I should know, as Ms. Jameson charges a fortune.” Zito made the trade with college buddy Cameron Kane. “I thought having Barry on my team was a bit of a conflict of interests,” said Kane. “I wanted to maintain our friendship, and not put the pressure of a bad start on him. But when I knew I could get David Wright, I figured all bets where off — in a manner of speaking. Getting Wright was the key. And who knows? Barry might earn me a couple of points in middle relief.” “It’s kind of weird,” added Zito. “I’m still on the Giants, but I also play on Cam’s fantasy team. I’m not sure where my loyalty rests. Cam even went so far as to outfit me with a cap and warm up jersey with his logo on it, which quite frankly, I don’t care much for. It’s like being in that Superman Bizarro World.” Meanwhile, since the trade, Zito says a ghost-like figure named Fantasy Barry has appeared twice in his home. “He looked just like me and claimed I stole his weed,” said Zito. “Then he opened my refrigerator and ate some leftover Chinese food. Two hours later he showed up and asked if I wanted to go surfing with two dudes named Harley and Slam. Holy crap! I’m sporting a seven plus ERA, I’ve got my own evil twin — and it’s only May!”

I guess I wonder when this will stop. I’m beginning to wonder if there are any clean baseball players in MLB.  According to reports from ESPN Troy Glaus got shipments of steroids and that could explain things associated with him. When is baseball going to clean up this mess they let go on for the longest time?

Here at The Grand Jury things are moving nicely and we have some writers on board and it’s full steam ahead. I noticed the drive for the playoffs is really heating up and some teams are playing well while other teams are fading. The Seattle Mariners finally ended their losing streak and they were in such a great position before the tailspin.

Of course the National League Central is real tight and today I thought I would leave you a quote from Carlos Zambrano who lost again and killing Fantasy baseball players everywhere if they still have him in their lineup.

“I don’t understand why the fans were booing at me. I can’t understand that. They showed me today they just care about them. That’s no fair. Because when you are struggling, that’s when you want to feel the support of the fans.

Kingpin

The Baseball races are heating which mean the Fantasy baseball races are getting tighter and what better way to finish a baseball season off than with some wire to wire finishes. Ben Sheets came back for Milwaukee Brewers last night and pitched well to help them get a win. One of the teams you don’t hear alot about our the Angels who now own the best home record in baseball.

Cardinals, Brewers, Cubs, and even the Reds still have a chance at the National League Central. It will be great to see these races to go down to the wire. As long as the Kingpin’s team makes the playoffs in Fantasy Baseball and MLB than I won’t have to call a special meeting at The Grand Jury.

 Kingpin

I wanted to welcome everyone who loves Fantasy Baseball to The Grand Jury. We have some excellent people on board and the future is only going to get brighter here at The Grand Jury. We have many plans for our newest home and welcome input from Fantasy Baseball fans as you are important to our success. Being the editor of The Grand Jury means I value every reader who comes here and will read every email sent to me AND you will get a personal response from me. No canned emails from me. I guarantee that.

Now let’s move ahead and get into where we are headed with The Grand Jury. As you can see we have plenty of Baseball blogs which mean we will be your one stop for Fantasy baseball news. Now don’t think you will have to hop from website to website as our blogs will also have updated baseball news all with the Fantasy Baseball slant you have come to love from  the Fantasy baseball mafia.

No more searching for what you need, with The Grand Jury and fantasybaseballmafia we will have your Fantasy Baseball covered from all angles. Now all we need is you. Stop back often and see how we take Fantasy baseball to the next level. Don’t miss a minute of the excitement all year long.

Ken Watkins
Editor